the days with you when pain ran
thick like blood through my vessels
and joy, like flashes of excruciating pleasure.
I remember barging into your world, fourteen stories
above the city and two years after and
the soberness after lying against your hot
and soft moonlight that made me feel so
at an angle to the earth
just like those slanted lunar shadows
that crept across the night grass.
I remember your voice, feeling like a weight
of memory sometimes too heavy to carry
on my unsteady young back and sometimes
so beautiful it was the only thing
I craved in life.
I remember an ocean of yesterdays
flooding into me then like water
that felt so goddamned soothing as it
smothered the air from my lungs.
I remember and long for you
and am terrified of you.